When you're newly dating someone, it's exciting, but it's important to be aware of any red flags that could signal potential issues. Working with your own personal matchmaker allows you to address concerns with an unbiased and experienced colleague. Here are some red flags to watch out for:
Inconsistent Communication:
If they’re hot and cold with their attention—being super attentive one day and then distant for days—it could indicate that they’re not emotionally available or serious about the relationship.
Disrespectful Behavior:
Any form of disrespect, whether it's towards you, other people, or even in the way they speak about exes or family members, should not be ignored.
Lack of Accountability:
If they constantly deflect blame or make excuses for their mistakes and rarely take responsibility for their actions, it might be a sign of immaturity or emotional avoidance.
Overly Controlling:
Pay attention if they try to control aspects of your life, like who you spend time with, what you wear, or where you go. Healthy relationships respect each other’s independence.
Push for Quick Commitment:
Someone who is rushing you into a serious relationship, or insisting on labels too quickly, may be pushing things forward for reasons that have more to do with their own needs or insecurities than building a healthy relationship.
Excessive Jealousy:
A little jealousy is normal, but if they react strongly or inappropriately when you interact with others, that’s a sign of insecurity and could lead to possessiveness.
They’re Always Talking About Themselves:
If they don’t show much interest in getting to know you or never ask about your life and feelings, it could signal self-centeredness or lack of empathy.
Red Flags from Past Relationships:
If they speak poorly or with anger about all their exes, it might indicate unresolved issues or a pattern of problematic behavior in past relationships.
Substance Abuse or Addiction:
If you notice any signs of dependency on alcohol, drugs, or other substances, this could be a significant issue that impacts their behavior and your relationship.
Not Respecting Boundaries:
If they ignore your personal boundaries—whether emotional, physical, or mental—this is a major red flag.
Gaslighting or Manipulation:
If they make you question your own reality, memory, or perceptions, it could be a form of emotional manipulation. This can be very damaging over time.
Lack of Trust or Privacy:
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If they’re constantly snooping through your phone, questioning your whereabouts, or showing signs of distrust without reason, it’s a red flag.
Do any of these resonate with you, or is there something more specific you're concerned about?